WTF, U2?

Sep. 17th, 2012 09:58 am
modernwizard: (Default)
You're nice to listen to on occasion, despite your sick views of heterosexual love, but sometimes I really don't get you. For example, in So Cruel, you sing:

Oh love, like a screaming flower
Love, dying every hour


Seriously? What does that even mean? I assume you're talking about Bob the Angry Flower, but that really doesn't make much sense.

...Oh. I get it. You just wanted something to rhyme with "hour," didn't you?

>_>

modernwizard: (Default)
Slant magazine provides some of the most pretentious, convoluted, obtuse, overwritten, horribly bad movie "reviews" I have ever read. Here's an example. Basically the author dislikes the movie for being overly sympathetic to all characters and not judgmental enough. But God forbid he come right out and say that. Instead we get Death by Adjectives and phrases like "limning a milieu with extraneous humanism," which sounds like it just came from the keys of someone who has recently discovered the thesaurus [or maybe the Increase Your Word Power! section of Reader's Digest].

As you can see [if you can make any headway in the impenetrable thicket of purple prose], the reviewers make it a point to dislike pretty much everything. Then they expound on their dislike with the grandiloquent bloviation worthy of those self-important people who think that they are too stupendous to crack jokes. To a man [and I think they're all men], they're acutely allergic to clarity of expression and direct communication of ideas. They clearly believe that, the more subordinate clauses their "reviews" have, the better they are.

I like to read stuff like this occasionally, just to roll my eyes at its egregiousness. It reminds me what not to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a milieu that needs some limning with extraneous humanism. :p

P.S. This also brings up the question -- if you hate movies, both generally as a concept and specifically as individual films, which the writers of Slant apparently do, why write about them in the first place?
modernwizard: (Default)
My clothes and stuff are ganging up on me. One of my favorite T-shirts was ignominiously slain by an oil-based dressing stain 2 weeks ago, so I replaced it at Goodwill this weekend [$5.00].

My favorite shorts expired last week, so I got some more off Ebay [~$22.00].

Then one of my pillows died, so I replaced it [$18.00]. While I was at it, I purchased some towels that actually covered me up [$25.00].

Then I discovered holes in my pajama top and [where else?] the crotch of pajama pants #2. Since I use a special type of long underwear as pajamas, it's costing me $140.00 for 2 replacement sets.

I have to get some new bottom fitted sheets for my bed this week. I only have 1, and it's stained as heck. I also need some new pillowcases. I'd rather not buy sheet sets, though, because I never use the top sheets, so they just stay in storage, using up valuable space.

While I'm at it, I could probably use another winter coat: one with a waterproof outer layer and an insulated inner layer. I've been using my current one so long that it's fraying at the cuffs, and it has permanent smudges all over it from dirt and/or the strap of my previous purse, which leaked dye whenever it got wet. >: Also it has some unpleasant history attached to it, so it really should go away.

And yeah, a second fleece jacket would be a wise investment. I spent pretty much the entire period from October of last year to April of this year wearing my current fleece jacket. I originally bought it to be the first layer of winter clothes, over which I would put my outer winter jacket to constitute an entire coat. Then, because I'm hypersensitive to temperature and would rather be slightly hot than slightly cold, I ended up never taking it off. I wore it in the office every single day. I wore it when I got home from work. I wore it on the weekends. I wore it on quick trips outside [like to and from the laundry shed]. I wore it when I took naps. I wore it when I did pretty much everything except sleeping, and, even then, I wore it on especially cold nights. :p I lived in that thing. I should get another, just to distribute the wear.

Does anything else want to wear out, while I'm spending money??? :p

Huh???

Sep. 3rd, 2012 03:55 pm
modernwizard: (Default)
While I was in the Unhappy Digestive System section of the pharmacy products this morning, I came across some sort of clear, citrus-flavored diuretic that advertised itself as "the sparkling laxative!"

I don't know about you, but I don't care at all about about the refractive index of my poop encouragers. I just want them to work.
modernwizard: (Default)
...is that, when I'm going to the bathroom at work, I'll be staring at my shorts, and then I'll suddenly realize that they have a hole in the crotch. A big one. Right where the 4 seams join too! :p

Confession

Jul. 25th, 2012 12:28 pm
modernwizard: (Default)
I haven't been able to concentrate all week so far.
modernwizard: (Default)
I will never ever ever use the phrase "doing someone a solid." It sounds like you're taking a dump on someone.
modernwizard: (Default)
Ugh, writing self-evaluations for work is so painful, as is determining goals for the coming year. I can't think of anyone I've met who finds these chores exciting and enjoyable.

Confession

Jan. 6th, 2012 09:57 am
modernwizard: (Default)
There is nothing quite so pleasing as a newly filled gas tank, unless it is a newly filled larder!
modernwizard: (Default)
I hate open-toed shoes with the fiery passion of 10,000 suns. Sandals, however, are fine.
modernwizard: (Default)
I do not understand the appeal of Blythe dolls. I think they are ugly and disturbing. I'm totally fine with Pullips, however.

Confession

Aug. 4th, 2011 11:14 am
modernwizard: (Default)
My favorite part of Ms. Magazine was always the last page, showing a collection of sexist ads sent in by readers.

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