"If your husband finds out you haven't been store-testing coffee..."

...Then kinky sex results??!?!?!?!? I swear that this picture looks like what happens after the very end of Secretary, when Maggie Gyllenhaal's character puts a bug in James Spader's character's book [?] specifically for the purpose of provoking a BDSM scenario of "punishment" later. I say this because the scenario looks so obviously staged [notice how neatly the woman's hair is styled], and she appears to be faking a look of distress while actually smiling. I found this ad on the community vintage_ads, which contains boundless beautiful examples of the art used to sell things.

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Rug...Tiger...Pants...What?

"It's nice to have a girl around the house. Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn't have to fire a shot to floor her. ( Wait...the metaphors get even better...I mean, stupider! )