Babycat cracks me up. Whenever she sees us opening up the little Greek yogurt containers, she goes O_O and parks at our feet, licking her little chops. If we give her the peach or strawberry yogurt, she sticks her little face in the container and licks out all the leavings. She refuses to do the same with the blueberry, though.
Prepare strawberries. If fresh, wash, hull and chop up. If frozen, microwave until yielding, but still solid, then chop up. Place in container and smoosh up with spoon, fork, potato masher, etc. Goal: to achieve a consistency of chunky tomato sauce. Refrigerate for at least 24 hours to allow berries to soften and juice to leak out.
When ready to eat, put down strawberries first. Then cut up pancakes and put down a layer. Add whipped cream. Stir until pancakes are impregnated with strawberry juice and whipped cream. Consume messily. Works well as breakfast, dessert, snack...heck, anything really!
This recipe has been brought to you by the 10 lbs. of pancake mix, 6 lbs. of frozen strawberries and 3 15-oz. cans of whipped cream I bought at Costco.
I HATE YOU GUYS YOU'RE SO ANNOYING AND BESIDES YOU ARE FUCKING UP OUR FRESHLY PAINTED WALLS BECAUSE I HAVE TO PASTE YOU WITH A PACK OF PHOTO PAPER AND THEN HALF THE TIME AFTER I SCORE A DIRECT HIT YOU'RE STILL FUCKING ALIVE AND WHEN I DO GET YOU YOU LEAVE BUG GUTS ALL OVER THE WALL
THE PANTRY LOOKS LIKE AN INSECT CHARNEL HOUSE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU LAYING YOUR FUCKING EGGS ANYWAY WE ALREADY GOT RID OF ALL THE OPEN BULK PACKAGES AND SEALED EVERYTHING IN PLASTIC STORAGE SO ARE YOU INCUBATING INSIDE THE STORAGE AND THEN MAGICALLY TELEPORTING THROUGH THE PLASTIC OR SOMETHING
STOP HAVING CONVENTIONS IN OUR PANTRY GO BOTHER THE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WHO COULD THEN DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH ALL THEIR ELEPHANT STOMPING AND SQUASH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
The following makes 4 to 5 servings.
- 1 can of beans [~14oz.] -- black, red, pinto, etc. [black or pinto recommended]
- 1 cup uncooked rice -- brown, white, basmati, long-grain, etc. [brown or white recommended]
- 1 jar of salsa [~16oz.] -- any type [Green Mountain Salsa recommended]
- 8-12oz. sour cream or plain yogurt [low- or full-fat recommended]
- salt to taste
- shredded cheese [sharp cheddar recommended]
- browned meat [which obviously makes it not vegetarian] [lean ground beef or turkey recommended]
- hot sauce
- tomato paste
- Start rice cooking. Put x cups of rice in at least 2x cups of water. 2.5x cups is even better, as you can always drain off the excess water later. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.
- While rice is cooking, open beans. Rinse and drain to get rid of slime. Put them in a clean pot large enough for at least twice, if not thrice, that amount of beans.
- Simmer rice for a while [40+ minutes], stirring regularly and sampling occasionally. Rice is done when it is soft, but not mushy, and has absorbed almost all the water. Usually these two events coincide, but not always.
- Remove rice from pot when done and put in with beans. Mix thoroughly. Put hot water and soap in rice pot to soak so leftover rice doesn't congeal.
- Open salsa. Dump in with beans and rice. Mix thoroughly. Sample. Add salt if desired.
- If adding meat, hot sauce or tomato paste, these ingredients should go in at this point.
- If preparing for later consumption, add enough sour cream or yogurt to make the chili gooey, but not sloppy. Mix; sample; salt.
- Add shredded cheese if desired. Mix; sample.
- If preparing for immediate consumption, heat rice, beans and salsa until they are all hot. Then add sour cream or yogurt, then shredded cheese.
- Eat it.
- Store leftovers in sealed plastic or glass container. Chili nukes really well, but can also be enjoyed cold. Good for at least 5 days, it actually improves flavor with age.
- raisins x 1.96 lbs
- peanuts x 2.18 lbs
- cashews x 1.33 lbs
- cranberries x 0.87 lb
I promise to use this knowledge only for good. :p
- peanuts, roasted, salted and blanched x 1.45 lb
- carob chips x 1.5 lb
- raisins x 0.81 lb
- raw cashews x 0.57 lb
- raw filberts [hazelnuts] x 0.35 lb
Archaeologists from the US and India are working in the Indus River Valley. They analyze the microscopic signatures of food remains to determine what people ate thousands of years ago. The ingenious methods are fascinating to read about.
Surprise surprise -- they were currying the heck out of their cuisine, just the way we do today. [Well, not in exactly the same manner, but surely with the same amount of enthusiasm!]
...Now I want curry...
I waited outside for 15 minutes today [estimated windchill factor negative a billion] because the Hindquarter, Cloud 9 Caterers' former fire engine and current mobile food van, was parked in front of my building today, and I had to test out their burger ["House Grind, Smoked Country Bacon, Lettuce, American Cheese, Tomato Jam"] and onion rings ["Buttermilk Soaked, Malt Vinegar Aioli"].
First I ate the onion rings. They were light and crispy, with no sogginess that I usually associate with larger, cheaper versions. Their noticeably salty flavor [which I liked] was cut by the mild aioli. That's glorified mayonnaise for you philistines. :p
Then I ate the burger, which came on a toasted, buttered bun. I appreciated this detail, as untoasted buns distract me from my burgers with their chewy texture. The meat was juicy, tender and done medium, as far as I can tell [outsides definitely cooked but not hard, insides lightly cooked but not red]. The bacon added a nice smoky note, and the cheese and lettuce were fine. Everything merged together into a hearty mess of flavors, except for the tomato jam, which did not overpower the burger, but definitely had a slight medicinal aftertaste. Could'a' done without that, but, for $11.00, I was very pleased with my meal. Definitely worth waiting 15 minutes in the cold for!
I'm currently eating ginger flavor, which is like eating yellow fireworks, and cassis [black currant], which is like eating a delicately scented perfume. This is the best frozen yogurt ever. It's extra yummy when it has fresh, locally grown fruit on top! :9
This is not a funny anti-grapefruit rant.
I myself only like certain kinds of grapefruit.
The insipid yet corrosive floor cleaners in any produce section NO. It's like someone peed acid in my mouth; I feel the uncontrollable urge to run out to my car and use the windshield scraper on my tongue to remove the contamination.
The delectably piquant and juicy ruby red specimens that are usually larger and more expensive YES. I love the sharp clash between bitterness and sweetness; it's such a bright, clean flavor. As a bonus, it can also be used as a paint stripper in a pinch. :p
I also love grapefruit soda, like Fresca!
P.S. As a completely irrelevant aside, I just had one of these [Wicked Whoopies orange creamsicle whoopie pie!!!], and it was delicious. Fortunately I bought it from the local Shaw's without needing to order a dozen online. :d
( Strange kitty cat. )
In GOOD news, the best bread in the state is made just diagonally across the street from my workplace at Great Harvest Bakery. I go there at least twice a week to stock up. They're very sneaky, in that they give out free slices of some of the day's creations. That's how they hook you... Since I became addicted last summer, I have tried many types of bread, including the following:
smoked Gouda and stout
Gold Rush [a hearty bread with cornmeal]
Mountain Crunch [a sweet bread with gold and brown raisins and cranberries]
Popeye [has spinach]
cran apple orange
carrot cake cream cheese roll
maple cinnamon chip
blueberry coffee cake
coconut almond tea bread
green chili cheese
They also make delicious BLT panini for lunch.
Now shokshokeh is a recipe that varies depending on what you put in it. The only constants are eggs and tomatoes. The Andala version has stewed tomatoes, sauteed onions and garlic on top of fluffy brown rice. On top of the tomato sauce are two poached eggs seeping into the tomatoes [but not too much]. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner because it's a good amount of food, neither too heavy nor too filling.
As I mentioned, recipes for shokshokeh vary. Here's one from Jewlicious that eschews onions. The one from MoTV calls for scrambled, not poached, eggs. The one from Mediterrasian.com has a lot of fiery red spices in it, but the version I have experience with is mild and savory. Maybe I will try to get the recipe from Andala!
Basically you make an Italian soda by combining seltzer and syrup. Then use some frozen fruit for ice cube substitutes. You can pour some more syrup directly on the fruit for an interesting flavor. As you drink your Bloody Sunset, the seltzer will partly melt the fruit, making it edible by the time your Bloody Sunset has sunk to the bottom of the glass.
It looks kind of like blood and is therefore favored by silly vampires who are sick of drinking things at 98.6. ( Yummy! )
...I never thought I'd see them copping to it in an ad of theirs. Can you guess what the ad below [by Haye and Partner, Unterhaching, Germany, ganked from Ad Goodness] is selling? Frankly, my first guess was "shit sandwiches." Fossilized sandwiches? Coprolite sandwiches? Answer below ad.
We've got Cousin Nina, an anorexic who is apparently channeling a stereotypical gay man. [She also moonlights as an Asian-stereotype dominatrix, Lady Lotus of the Orient.] We've got Aunt Sam, who combines nutritional nerdiness with a flamboyant past as a daring aviatrix. There's Sister Allison, whose obsession with dyeing kraut, giving the colors cutesy names and forcing other kids to do it suggests that she's a few leaves short of a cabbage head. [Her staring eyes provide a startlingly direct portal to the yawning abyss within.] And there's Mama, whose mysteriously stunted growth reminds us that perhaps we shouldn't hit the kraut for EVERY SINGLE MEAL.
You could dye this stuff a reddish-pink and feed it to zombies in lieu of brains.