A vampire romance train wreck: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

I eagerly devoured Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, which I mentioned in a previous entry, and hoooooo boy, it was even better than I expected, which is to say that it was gloriously horrible!

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There is no such thing as a good vampire movie.

I am firmly convinced of this. I just saw the teaser trailer for Twilight [previously mentioned here and here], in which Bella, a mortal, falls in love with Edward, a douchebag vampire. Because the trailer usually provides a condensed view of the movie's tone, cinematography, plot and acting abilities, I have no faith in the upcoming film. It appears that it will consist of people standing around looking dyspeptic and occasionally making hammy, passionate proclamations, all with portentous special effects and no sense of humor whatsoever. Regrettable, really, when Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are each young actors known for actually doing some good acting.

Wait...I take back what I said about there being no good vampire movies. Nosferatu is good.

The trashiness is MINE!

Having acquired my own copy of Twilight, I can now revisit its wonderfully horrible fan-fictional melodrama any time I wish. HUZZAH!!!

There are some very unintentionally revealing articles about author Stephenie Meyer that I want to analyze, but I can't do it now, so I'll just link to them:

Stephenie Meyer: A New J.K. Rowling? by Lev Grossman, Time, April 24, 2008.

Stephenie Meyer [The New Time 100: #74] by Orson Scott Card, Time, May 5, 2008

The Story Behind Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, stepheniemeyer.com