So I hear...

...that the Loch Ness Monster is involved in Breaking Dawn. Wow. If that's the case, I might need to actually purchase a copy of this train wreck for my very own, instead of just signing it out from the library.

I have purchased and scanned Breaking Dawn...

...and I would just like to say that it didn't just jump the shark. Instead, it jumped an entire fleet of sharks, while shooting fireworks and kazoos out its ass. Then it pulverized the sharks, crashed into an oil tanker and set the resultant spill ablaze, choking the world's entire population of seagulls to death with its smoke. Immediately afterward, it reached land, where it pulverized and shat out Gozilla AND Mecha-Godzilla. At last sight, it was lurching toward the New England Aquarium, intent on fusing together a tankful of innocent sand sharks into one unholy cartilaginous sea monster, with which it was somehow hoping to scale the exosphere, hop over the Oort Cloud and land in the vicinity of Antares.