FUCK YOU GRAIN BUGS

GO AWAY STOP MAKING ME THROW OUT ALL MY BREAD AND RICE AND PASTA AND PANCAKE MIX I'M TRYING TO SAVE MONEY HERE BY BUYING IN BULK AND YOU LITTLE SHITS AREN'T HELPING

I HATE YOU GUYS YOU'RE SO ANNOYING AND BESIDES YOU ARE FUCKING UP OUR FRESHLY PAINTED WALLS BECAUSE I HAVE TO PASTE YOU WITH A PACK OF PHOTO PAPER AND THEN HALF THE TIME AFTER I SCORE A DIRECT HIT YOU'RE STILL FUCKING ALIVE AND WHEN I DO GET YOU YOU LEAVE BUG GUTS ALL OVER THE WALL 

THE PANTRY LOOKS LIKE AN INSECT CHARNEL HOUSE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU LAYING YOUR FUCKING EGGS ANYWAY WE ALREADY GOT RID OF ALL THE OPEN BULK PACKAGES AND SEALED EVERYTHING IN PLASTIC STORAGE SO ARE YOU INCUBATING INSIDE THE STORAGE AND THEN MAGICALLY TELEPORTING THROUGH THE PLASTIC OR SOMETHING

STOP HAVING CONVENTIONS IN OUR PANTRY GO BOTHER THE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WHO COULD THEN DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH ALL THEIR ELEPHANT STOMPING AND SQUASH THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

E-Z Cacti [TM]

Figurvore's first custom challenge is to make a 1:6 scale plant. I toyed with the idea of making a bonsai tree with some of my various wire for a skeleton and possibly some fauxliage as leaves, but that looked like it would require hours, rather than minutes, of effort, so I scaled back. I made an E-Z Cactus, as previously mentioned in an entry in December, 2012, but with some improvements.

I made the cactus by twisting together two shades of green pipe cleaners. Then I formed the pipe cleaners into a club shape with a projection on the bottom to stick into the soil unit. To help the cactus stand upright, I rammed a slender piece of bronze wire up inside it.

To make the soil unit, I filled a 1.5" diameter terra cotta pot with Aves Apoxie Sculpt most of the way. I snipped off small shreds of brown crinkle paper and stuck them to the top of the Aves Apoxie Sculpt to look like wood chips. Then I stuck the wire on the bottom of the cactus into the soil unit. When the Aves Apoxie Sculpt dried, I used hot glue and more "wood chips" to cover the areas where the soil unit showed.
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Mr. Slightly Less Lumpy Head

Filled in the deep creases on forehead and cheeks, as well as where jaw joins neck under ears [not shown in this photo]. Cheeks and jaw/neck joins actually look pretty good. Forehead still needs some filling in, and I haven't even gotten to the nasal bridge yet. I'm pleased with the progress, however.
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