Not Your Mother's Rules: more

[modernwizard]

Pages 35-37: "We tell clients to grow their hair long or even to get hair extensions.  ... Also, curly dos can look messy, while long, stick-straight hair looks more like one of those luscious shampoo ads.

"...We often tell women who feel blah with brown hair to try highlights or go blond.

"...If you have a lot of facial hair -- a unibrow or even a mustache -- you should get it lightened or waxed. If you have weak nails or bite them, get a gel French manicure that can last for two or three weeks. ... Get your teeth whitened... Wear contact lenses [try blue and green shades!] instead of glasses."

Hate your race. Pursue Aryan perfection.

Pages 39-40: "...[A]ny Rules girl's best accessory is big [three-inch] hoop earrings in silver or gold. ... Little or big diamond studs ... are too dainty and suburban-looking when you are single. ...

"Another great accessory is a chunky gold watch. It's bold, modern and reeks of self-confidence. ...

"Big sunglasses and the au courant bag are also smart investments..."

When did "suburban" move from neutral adjective to sneering insult?

"Reeking" of self-confidence doesn't seem particularly attractive to me.

Page 42: "Sometimes successful women are the biggest Rules breakers. They argue that their MBAs or graduate degrees give them license to pursue men like they pursue careers and condos."

This anti-MBA theme is becoming tedious.

Page 43: "Abby, a twenty-one-year-old journalism major, thought the Rules were so yesterday."

The best way to relate to today's youth is to make sure that your musical references are at least ten years out of date. Lollerskates!

Page 99: "Few guys want to read paragraph after paragraph about a woman's feelings, thoughts, wants or needs."

Shut up! You are a fuckhole, nothing more.

Comments

[seventhbard]

Liars! Dudebroz love my wavy, messy, curly brown hair.

And I love my caterpillar brows too, about which I have never received a complaint from dudes, only laydeez who are intimidated by my refusal to participate in and thus validate their beautification regimes.

I actually pursue men more similarly to my method of pursuing puppies than condos-- I give my thigh a good slap, and if they come wagging up, we're good, if not I walk on and find one who's in the mood for a cuddle. XD

[modernwizard]

The Rules, page 19: "Don't be a loud, **knee-slapping,** hysterically funny girl."

You must be doing SOMETHING wrong, as the Rules disagree with you.

I don't pursue condos myself; they run too fast. Adult condos can attain speeds of up to 120 km/hr!

[sailorzeo.livejournal.com]

OMG, the long hair bit. My hair's back to waist-length, and Matt would prefer it if I'd just cut the whole mass off. :-P

[dollsahoy.livejournal.com]

Husband prefers my hair short, too, but I'm too much of a cheapskate to get it cut very often, and he's too afraid he'll ruin it when I trust him with cutting it...

WE'RE OBVIOUSLY HORRIBLE AT BEING FEMALE.

*snicker*

[dollsahoy.livejournal.com]

A chunky watch is modern? Really? Do they not know that most of their target market doesn't wear watches anymore, choosing instead to get their timekeeping needs from their cellular devices?